Music is something that runs in my veins. One of my grandmothers sang in a choir that traveled the U.S. and then joined her church choir later in life and the other plays both the piano and accordion. My parents met in their high school band and my mother was part of a rock cover band for a while. I followed in my family’s footsteps and joined middle school choir where I was quite bored with the dated songs but my love of singing was nonetheless nurtured.
My freshman year of high school, I transferred schools early on in the year and was ready to start anew. A talent show was happening in a month and my new friend and I wanted to participate as a singing duo. We practiced singing along to a karaoke version of The Chicks’ Goodbye Earl, a song about a friend helping out a friend by killing her abusive husband. We even choreographed dance moves all while donning cowboy hats (mine was zebra print). Rehearsals went well.
On the day of the talent show, we were nervous but excited. We climbed up on that stage, hands trembling, and began to belt out our murderous song. However, unbeknownst to us, there was a teacher on the corner of the stage holding a giant cymbal. As we rounded the first verse, I could tell the crowd was not pleased. I gave my friend a quick sideways glance of concern. Before we had even made it to the first chorus, there were very audible boos echoing off the gymnasium walls and the cymbal wielding teacher in the corner stood up and began to dangle the cymbal from his hand. The boos amplified. We continued to sing, but he moved closer, and the boos got louder still. And then suddenly he was smacking the cymbal to loud cheers as our song was cut short and we were escorted off the stage.
Yeesh. So much to unpack here. Look at my eyes, the set of my mouth. I KNOW.
Sooooooo that’s when I stopped singing for a while. But I couldn’t keep the music in my veins quiet. I got a guitar and took Guitar 1 my senior year of high school, acquired a keyboard and drum after college and then one very ordinary day, I tried my hand at writing a song for my friend and her new baby. And, as they say, the rest is history.
Now I write, compose, record, and mix my own songs at home around the rest of my life as many multi-creatives do. To check out my music, go HERE.
I just have to take a moment to gush about one of my new favorite TV shows: Zoey’s Extraordinary Playlist. It’s quirky and musical and just quite lovely. I have cried almost every episode but not in the, this is really sad way. More in the “this show is reminding me what’s important in life and it’s so beautiful” kind of way.
Without giving too much away, this show has reminded me how precious life’s moments are and how short life is. It reminds me to be present and hold and hug the ones I love. And it reminds me to grab life by the horns and live! To live and create and love even when I’m terrified because life is short. It reminds me that my to-do list can wait (most times) and that these moments (all of them) are right here and not to miss out on them. It reminds me to not take my life, my luxuries, and, most importantly, my loved ones for granted.
It is a truly lovely and life-affirming show and it’s got a badass soundtrack. I’ve already added many of the shows songs to my sing-along playlist.
So what I’m try to say is, you might want to give this lovely show a try if you haven’t already. <3
What the header says is true – I have new music out! It’s a single called “I’ve Got a Hold on You” and my mom says it’s my best song yet so. Yeah. Feeling pretty confident. 😉
The album art, created by moi.
This is my third single and I had some new tools that made the process more fun and much easier. I also think these new tools helped to create an overall better sound. It can be found at most music platforms including Spotify, Apple Music, and YouTube, among others.
Oh this song. This is it. This is the song that started this whole shebang for me. It is the first song I ever released. And it was an absolutely glorious internal fight to do so. This song, simply by being the ‘first’ song, was my learning curve. I had another song that I’d been working on FOR MONTHS. It’s tentatively titled “Release.” So naturally I thought it was fitting that that song was going to be the first song I released. Ha! Me and that song aren’t even on talking terms right now.
And that’s when this beauty of a song came to me. I was messing around on my guitar on, you guessed it, one full moon night when the chorus and beginning of the first verse came to me. I recorded it on my phone so as not to forget (as I do with all my strange and sporadic musical ideas) and that’s where it sat for a good while.
Finally, I finished the song in March and by July I had released my first single, Full Moon’s Rising. That might not seem like a short time, but for me it was. For someone who had been hoarding her music for years, it was a remarkable turnaround.
As far as the lyrics go, I think they are pretty self-explanatory. This song is an ode to the lovely and beautiful full moon. The instrumentation is simple – just me and my guitar. This is what I could handle on my first song and sometimes I think simple is what is needed. It is by no means perfect, but it’s mine and I put it out into the world. It’s not something that I created and let sit on my computer, never letting another person hear it. It’s out there and imperfect and wonderful and I love it.
I had a lot of fun creating this cover art with my watercolors.
“You Found Me” came to me chorus first, as most of my songs do. And then when I sat down to write the verses, they quickly flowed out of me. The creation of the verses’ melody was a little more tricky, but I got there eventually.
When I wrote these lyrics, I was worried that without explaining them, they would seem nonsensical. But really, so much of music seems that way to me anyways so I gave up that worry. When you really think about it (and look at the history) music is much like poetry (and some would even say IS poetry). And we don’t expect poetry to be blatantly obvious all the time, do we?
Anywho, on to the lyrics!
Have you ever lost yourself? Like lost your true, authentic self? The ‘self’ that is your joy, your love, your wisdom, your feelings, your beliefs, your connections? That’s what this song is about. Well, not really. This song is about FINDING that part of yourself again. Or rather, being found by that part of yourself.
“Once I was gone again/…You found me.” Sometimes my ego and my ‘idea’ of who I am gets so far in the way that I can’t see the real, authentic me. This song is about letting that ego fall away, essentially die, so that I can be reunited with my true, authentic self. Which is always there mind you. That’s where the lyrics “You whispered in my ear/I was always be there” come from. Because my authentic self is always there. It just gets covered up by my ‘idea’ of myself or my worries or doubts or fears and that ‘idea’ or worry or fear has to die or I have to release it, to actually see what’s been there the whole time: me.
And this process of removing the ego to reveal who I truly am is never fun. Never easy. That’s why I say “I’d fallen down so far/the ground was so damn hard.” Because that shit hurts. The pay off is great, of course. And it happens again and again. Hopefully one day, I’ll live from my authentic self all the time, but right now, this is a process that happens over and over again. That’s why I say towards the end of the song “Don’t, don’t you let me go/ Oh baby, never go/ You found me.” Because I know this will happen again. I will lose myself again and it feels so good, so right, to be in my authentic self and I don’t want to go back. I don’t want to forget, even for a second, who I really am. And there is my true self, coming in again “You whispered in my ear/I will always be here” reminding me that I never really ‘lose’ myself. My authentic self, my true self, is always there and I am never without her. And that feels good.
The cover art that I created reflects this motif – my authentic self cradling my dead ego. Both smiling and at peace.
My next single, You Found Me, has been released! I’ll speak more about the story behind this song in a later post, but for me, this song is about losing and then finding the real me over and over again and how wonderful it feels to be in my authentic self.
I’ve done it. I’ve released my first single. A song that I’ve created, recorded, mixed and mastered is out in the great wide world.
You can check it out on most major streaming services including Spotify. You can also purchase it here.
I thought I’d have more feelings, bigger feelings about it, but I don’t really. It actually feels really normal and almost routine even though this is the first single I’ve ever released. And I think that’s a good thing – a good sign of the many singles to come. And they will be singles. That is my current, preferred way of releasing my music. Perhaps I’ll gather them all into an album some day but maybe not.
What I do know is how hard I’ve worked to get to this point – there was such a steep learning curve for me in recording, mixing and mastering. It did not come easily or naturally but I’m glad I took the time to learn it (and, of course, I’m still learning). In addition, there was the emotional work required of me to be vulnerable enough to share this and that work still continues.
I hope you enjoy it. And if you don’t, that’s okay too. My music is not for everyone. But if you do, feel free to share it with like-minded friends, add it to your playlist, leave me a comment, and/or sing along at the top of your lungs.
I look forward to sharing more with all with you. <3
P.S. Be on the lookout for this symbol for the story behind this particular song (coming soon) :
I was making a playlist of favorite songs and I realized that a lot of them happened to come from movies. I think this is because the story of the movie imbues the song with even more power. It cements it in my mind as a powerful emotional piece.
Later in the week, my sister was telling me about Ariana Grande’s new songs and she kept saying, “The music video is so good too” and telling me I needed to watch it. The thing is, I’ve never really been into music videos. Many of them add nothing to the music listening experience and some even detract from it. But then I realized that good music videos do the same thing as movies – they cement the story of the song in my mind. And in fact, this had happened to me before.
Katy Perry’s song, “Wide Awake”, had been playing on the radio for a while. I liked the song well enough but had no deep, emotional connection to it. One day I was on YouTube and stumbled across the music video for “Wide Awake”and I was blown away. As I watched the video, the story that I was seeing played out before my eyes was helping me see the song in an entirely new way and I was able to connect to that song on a new level. In addition, every time I hear that song, I’m reminded of the video and the deep emotional connection just as I am when I hear a favorite song from a movie. The song on it’s own was not very powerful. But when I was shown the meaning behind it, through the visuals of the music video, it became very powerful for me.
I suspect this ties into the power that stories have over us humans. As Jonathan Gottschall says inThe Storytelling Animal(an excellent book that you should read):
“When we read nonfiction, we read with our shields up. We are critical and skeptical. But when we are absorbed in a story, we drop our intellectual guard. We are moved emotionally, and this seems to leave us defenseless.”
“Music, uniquely among the arts, is both completely abstract and profoundly emotional. . . . Music can pierce the heart directly; it needs no mediation.”
So a music video, a good one anyways, is taking the emotional power of stories and the emotional power of music and combining them in a profound way. Wow. I hadn’t given much thought to making music videos to accompany my music album when it’s done, but I definitely will now.
There is a reason it’s been a while since my lastLove Seriespost – this baby took me a month and a half to complete and was a serious undertaking. Now she gets her very own Love Series post.
The L’Amour art car is fully electric and covered in over 250 (!) quotes, lyrics, and poems all about love. Here’s just a little taste:
Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that. -Martin Luther King Jr
We accept the love we think we deserve.- Stephen Chbosky, The Perks of Being A Wallflower
“I love you.”
“I know.” – Leia & Han, Star Wars
There are moments that cry out to be fulfilled.
Like, telling someone you love them. – Mary Oliver, Moments
At last my love has come along
My lonely days are over and life is like a song. – Etta James, At Last
For a full list of all quotes included on the car and more pictures and information, visit the L’Amour Art Car pagewhich can be foundHERE.
This car is my daily driver, so if you’re ever driving around Houston, be on the lookout – you might just spot me driving my kiddo around and jamming to some love songs! 🙂
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