May 5, 2020

New Music: Anxiety

angelleconant Art, Music anxiety, cover art, new music 0 Comments

Hey, how you doing? You holding up ok? Things are strange right now and I hope that you are doing alright. I’ve had some good days and bad days since we started self-isolating in mid-March. Those first couple of weeks were filled with some intense anxiety for me and that is where this new song came from. You can listen it to on Spotify, YouTube, Apple Music, and almost all digital streaming services.

I have a binder full of songs waiting to be brought to life and, up until now, I’ve been trying to go through the backlog before I start on the ‘newer’ songs. But this song was not up for waiting. I think, too, it was also me. I worked on this song long after those first couple of weeks of intense anxiety and there was definitely a part of me that was eager to be DONE with this song. I didn’t want it waiting in my binder and in the back of my mind. I didn’t want to keep bringing up my anxiety unnecessarily. I wanted to be over it. I wanted it to be done. But it also just felt like the right time to make this song.

If you’ve ever suffered from anxiety, you may know these lyrics well. Or you may not. For me, my anxiety manifests differently at different times but it usually involves having a lot of difficulty getting a deep breath along with chest discomfort. And if you haven’t had anxiety, maybe this will give you a little insight into what it’s like for a loved one who has anxiety.

And, yes, the song is about anxiety and what it feels like but I think the most important part of the song is the end when it says:

“I just have to hold on,
I can weather this storm,
And I know that I’ll be
real glad, real glad.”

And I think that is something we can all do during this difficult time, whether or not we have anxiety. We just have to hold on and know that there is a light at the end of this tunnel.

October 25, 2019

The Story Behind the Music: You Found Me

angelleconant Music, The Story Behind the Music authenticity, cover art, ego, living, lyrics, music, the story behind the music, you found me 0 Comments

“You Found Me” came to me chorus first, as most of my songs do. And then when I sat down to write the verses, they quickly flowed out of me. The creation of the verses’ melody was a little more tricky, but I got there eventually.

When I wrote these lyrics, I was worried that without explaining them, they would seem nonsensical. But really, so much of music seems that way to me anyways so I gave up that worry. When you really think about it (and look at the history) music is much like poetry (and some would even say IS poetry). And we don’t expect poetry to be blatantly obvious all the time, do we?

Anywho, on to the lyrics!

Have you ever lost yourself? Like lost your true, authentic self? The ‘self’ that is your joy, your love, your wisdom, your feelings, your beliefs, your connections? That’s what this song is about. Well, not really. This song is about FINDING that part of yourself again. Or rather, being found by that part of yourself.

“Once I was gone again/…You found me.” Sometimes my ego and my ‘idea’ of who I am gets so far in the way that I can’t see the real, authentic me. This song is about letting that ego fall away, essentially die, so that I can be reunited with my true, authentic self. Which is always there mind you. That’s where the lyrics “You whispered in my ear/I was always be there” come from. Because my authentic self is always there. It just gets covered up by my ‘idea’ of myself or my worries or doubts or fears and that ‘idea’ or worry or fear has to die or I have to release it, to actually see what’s been there the whole time: me.

And this process of removing the ego to reveal who I truly am is never fun. Never easy. That’s why I say “I’d fallen down so far/the ground was so damn hard.” Because that shit hurts. The pay off is great, of course. And it happens again and again. Hopefully one day, I’ll live from my authentic self all the time, but right now, this is a process that happens over and over again. That’s why I say towards the end of the song “Don’t, don’t you let me go/ Oh baby, never go/ You found me.” Because I know this will happen again. I will lose myself again and it feels so good, so right, to be in my authentic self and I don’t want to go back. I don’t want to forget, even for a second, who I really am. And there is my true self, coming in again “You whispered in my ear/I will always be here” reminding me that I never really ‘lose’ myself. My authentic self, my true self, is always there and I am never without her. And that feels good.

The cover art that I created reflects this motif – my authentic self cradling my dead ego. Both smiling and at peace.

July 25, 2019

New Music: You Found Me

angelleconant Art, Music authenticity, cover art, music, you found me 1 Comment

My next single, You Found Me, has been released! I’ll speak more about the story behind this song in a later post, but for me, this song is about losing and then finding the real me over and over again and how wonderful it feels to be in my authentic self.