August 28, 2020

Mom Jokes

angelleconant Parenting, Unschooling jokes, parenting, unschooling 0 Comments

My daughter is an excellent game inventor. Today, she came to me after drawing these two pictures.

The game goes like this: one person tells a joke that they’ve made up on the spot. The other person then gives a thumbs up or a thumbs down. And then we switch.

This was my joke:

What did the juggler say to his juggling pins?
Catch you later!

My daughter gave a heavy and very audible sigh and then gave me a thumbs down. Does this mean I’ve unlocked a new achievement in parenting?

August 21, 2020

Collage Art

angelleconant Art, Unschooling art, collage, unschooling 1 Comment

I’ve been thinking a lot about noise and what I put out into the world. During this time of self-isolation, I’ve felt a stronger desire to share but I have many issues with social media and find it’s best for my mental health if I mostly steer clear (which I sometimes forget and then am painfully reminded, as I was today). So I’m going to try an experiment of sharing more, because it’s what I want to do, here on my little corner of the web.

I recently read about a cool idea on Happiness is Here blog where, overnight, she leaves out cool supplies on her children’s table for them to discover in the morning. I’ve been trying it for a couple of days now with my young daughter, and she seems to be enjoying it, as am I. I get very excited to put things out after she goes to bed, as if I’m a fairy leaving little gifts of discovery and curiosity.

Today’s supplies were for collage art: I left out paper, glue, scissors, magazines, and a printout of some collage art examples. First thing this morning, she was very intent on playing with slime so the collage supplies were pushed aside for that. And I was (mostly) fine with it. I set these things out because I thought she might like them but I did my best not to have any set expectations that she’d interact with them.

Later in the day, she was ready and asked me to join her and we had quite a good time making these. 🙂 The rest of the day has been quite challenging but this was one good thing that happened. It reminded me how much I enjoy collage and you might just see more of it from me in the future.

My daughter’s creation. These are the eyes and lips of Helen Mirren in case you were wondering.
My daughter’s second creation.
My second creation. I cut out dog eyes for this face and my daughter started sobbing when she found out in case you were wondering how things are going over here.
My first creation: Gecko For President. I started out trying to make the gecko pop out of a cake but it transformed into this.

January 21, 2018

Refrigerator Reminders

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It’s my first post of 2018! Woohoo! How’s your 2018 going? Mine has gotten off to a rocky start. Things always seem to fall apart for us after the holiday rush of Christmas and New Year’s is over. So I decided to revive and revamp some old reminders on my refrigerator. I had put them up sometime last year and then taken them down months later as they seemed like they were no longer needed. Ha! I was incorrect. For me, personally, these reminders are helpful with my daughter who is in the throws of the terrible (or terrific as my mother-in-law likes to say) twos. The first two are to help keep me grounded:

So often problems with my daughter arise when I haven’t been taking my time to meditate and breathe or because I’m trying to move at my adult pace. Granted, sometimes moving at an adult pace is necessary, but often times it is not and it’s important for me to remember to s l o w d o w n. For me, I find that something magical happens when I slow down and move at my daughter’s pace. I’m able to see the world from her eyes and be fully present and connected. And really, what’s the rush?

The second two reminders are mostly in regards to my daughter but are also applicable to me:

I have a strong aversion to mess but life and toddlerhood and art and a myriad of other things can be quite messy! So this is a reminder to myself to allow messes to happen. Throw a tarp down and let the kiddo paint a cardboard box and get covered in paint from head to toe. Let her dig in the mud and pour water in her sandbox. Let her play and be messy. And also, don’t be afraid to get messy yourself – with the kiddo, in your art, in your writing, in your music, in the kitchen, anywhere!

The other reminder is a crucial one. Get outside. Last year, when I had this reminder on fridge and I was having a bad day, it helped me to remember to take the kiddo outside. To a park or just in the backyard. On days when I have very little to give her, going outside always seems to help both of us. I get to recharge (being outside does that to me) and she gets to play happily as she tends to entertain herself very easily outside.

I’m happy and grateful to have these reminders back up on my refrigerator and I can see that they are already helping. What reminders do you have (or want to have) on your fridge? Let me know in the comments. 🙂

February 29, 2016

Open Letter to An American Teenager

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One of my teenage relatives was recently having a rough time of things.

This is what I would say to her (and my high school self).

Dear Teen,

I’m going to tell you something you don’t want to hear and already know: life isn’t fair. And sometimes, I think, a teen’s life can have extra bits of unfair-ness. First, there is school. Don’t even get me started on school. You can read about why school sucks here, here, and here. Then there is the fact that you’re almost sort-of an adult but not really. You are given tastes of freedom and independence but none of the trust or respect to go with it. “Be an adult. Stop acting childish” but also “Listen to me. Do what I say. You live under my roof, you have no rights.” This is in addition to the pressure and expectations of everyone around you: friends, teachers, parents, relatives, your church, your culture, the media, etc. And as the cherry on top are all of the ‘normal’ things in life that suck: trauma, abuse*, hardship, death, etc. What I’m trying to say here is that, generally, a teen’s life can really suck. And when your life has a tendency to suck, you tend to have a few bad days (or weeks or months or…).

This is for those times. The bad days. First, I’m going to give you some advice my mom gave me (yes, parents do actually know something from time to time): you can’t change anyone but yourself. Another gem from the old lady: what other people think about you is none of your business. And lastly: don’t compare your insides to someone else’s outsides (this includes the crap people post on Facebook). These three statements have profoundly changed the way I look at myself and the world.

Secondly, when I’m having a bad day, I know it’s time to get back to the basics:

FOOD : Am I eating often enough? Am I eating good, healthy foods? How can I prevent ‘hangry‘ moments?
WATER : Am I drinking enough water? How can I always have water accessible to me?
SLEEP : Am I getting enough sleep? Is it good quality sleep? How can I improve the quality of my sleep?
MOVEMENT : Am I moving my body almost everyday? Is it enjoyable? If not, how would I enjoy moving and strengthening my body?
OUTDOORS : Am I getting enough time in the sun (and therefore, Vitamin D)? Am I getting enough time in nature? How can I get outside more?
MEDITATION : Am I spending enough time alone? Do I make time to deal with my big emotions? Do I make time to get in touch with myself and figure out who I am and what I want?
SELF-EXPRESSION : Am I making time to express myself in a way that feels true to my soul? Even if I’m not going to share it with another living person, it still needs to be expressed.

What I’ve just listed is essentially radical self care. And contrary to popular belief, caring for yourself is not selfish. It’s like they say on an airplane: you have to put your oxygen mask on first before you can help anyone else put on theirs. And let me tell you – self care isn’t easy. Change takes time and you will fall off the wagon. Be kind and gentle with yourself and just get back on. And don’t be afraid to ask for help or get creative.

And if all else fails, get some perspective: read a book, make a list of what you’re grateful for, help someone else, give back, focus on what you do have. The world is so much bigger and more beautiful than high school and you are stronger, wiser, braver, and more resilient and powerful than you know. Hang in there – I promise you it will get better.

Oh, and one final thing:

YOU ARE VALUED.

YOU ARE NEEDED.

YOU ARE ENOUGH.

YOU ARE LOVED.

All my love,

Angelle

*If you are currently in an abusive situation, I urge you to seek help. Please call one of the hotlines on this page. You will get through this. You will survive.