September 17, 2020

My Musical History

angelleconant Music, The Story Behind the Music history, music 0 Comments

Music is something that runs in my veins. One of my grandmothers sang in a choir that traveled the U.S. and then joined her church choir later in life and the other plays both the piano and accordion. My parents met in their high school band and my mother was part of a rock cover band for a while. I followed in my family’s footsteps and joined middle school choir where I was quite bored with the dated songs but my love of singing was nonetheless nurtured.

My freshman year of high school, I transferred schools early on in the year and was ready to start anew. A talent show was happening in a month and my new friend and I wanted to participate as a singing duo. We practiced singing along to a karaoke version of The Chicks’ Goodbye Earl, a song about a friend helping out a friend by killing her abusive husband. We even choreographed dance moves all while donning cowboy hats (mine was zebra print). Rehearsals went well.

On the day of the talent show, we were nervous but excited. We climbed up on that stage, hands trembling, and began to belt out our murderous song. However, unbeknownst to us, there was a teacher on the corner of the stage holding a giant cymbal. As we rounded the first verse, I could tell the crowd was not pleased. I gave my friend a quick sideways glance of concern. Before we had even made it to the first chorus, there were very audible boos echoing off the gymnasium walls and the cymbal wielding teacher in the corner stood up and began to dangle the cymbal from his hand. The boos amplified. We continued to sing, but he moved closer, and the boos got louder still. And then suddenly he was smacking the cymbal to loud cheers as our song was cut short and we were escorted off the stage.

*Yeesh. So much to unpack here. Look at my eyes, the set of my mouth. I KNOW.*

Sooooooo that’s when I stopped singing for a while. But I couldn’t keep the music in my veins quiet. I got a guitar and took Guitar 1 my senior year of high school, acquired a keyboard and drum after college and then one very ordinary day, I tried my hand at writing a song for my friend and her new baby. And, as they say, the rest is history.

Now I write, compose, record, and mix my own songs at home around the rest of my life as many multi-creatives do. To check out my music, go HERE.

October 30, 2019

The Story Behind the Music: Full Moon’s Rising

angelleconant Music, The Story Behind the Music authenticity, full moon, music, spirit doll, the story behind the music, vulnerability, women's circle 0 Comments

Oh this song. This is it. This is the song that started this whole shebang for me. It is the first song I ever released. And it was an absolutely glorious internal fight to do so. This song, simply by being the ‘first’ song, was my learning curve. I had another song that I’d been working on FOR MONTHS. It’s tentatively titled “Release.” So naturally I thought it was fitting that that song was going to be the first song I released. Ha! Me and that song aren’t even on talking terms right now.

And that’s when this beauty of a song came to me. I was messing around on my guitar on, you guessed it, one full moon night when the chorus and beginning of the first verse came to me. I recorded it on my phone so as not to forget (as I do with all my strange and sporadic musical ideas) and that’s where it sat for a good while.

Finally, I finished the song in March and by July I had released my first single, Full Moon’s Rising. That might not seem like a short time, but for me it was. For someone who had been hoarding her music for years, it was a remarkable turnaround.

As far as the lyrics go, I think they are pretty self-explanatory. This song is an ode to the lovely and beautiful full moon. The instrumentation is simple – just me and my guitar. This is what I could handle on my first song and sometimes I think simple is what is needed. It is by no means perfect, but it’s mine and I put it out into the world. It’s not something that I created and let sit on my computer, never letting another person hear it. It’s out there and imperfect and wonderful and I love it.

I had a lot of fun creating this cover art with my watercolors.

October 25, 2019

The Story Behind the Music: You Found Me

angelleconant Music, The Story Behind the Music authenticity, cover art, ego, living, lyrics, music, the story behind the music, you found me 0 Comments

“You Found Me” came to me chorus first, as most of my songs do. And then when I sat down to write the verses, they quickly flowed out of me. The creation of the verses’ melody was a little more tricky, but I got there eventually.

When I wrote these lyrics, I was worried that without explaining them, they would seem nonsensical. But really, so much of music seems that way to me anyways so I gave up that worry. When you really think about it (and look at the history) music is much like poetry (and some would even say IS poetry). And we don’t expect poetry to be blatantly obvious all the time, do we?

Anywho, on to the lyrics!

Have you ever lost yourself? Like lost your true, authentic self? The ‘self’ that is your joy, your love, your wisdom, your feelings, your beliefs, your connections? That’s what this song is about. Well, not really. This song is about FINDING that part of yourself again. Or rather, being found by that part of yourself.

“Once I was gone again/…You found me.” Sometimes my ego and my ‘idea’ of who I am gets so far in the way that I can’t see the real, authentic me. This song is about letting that ego fall away, essentially die, so that I can be reunited with my true, authentic self. Which is always there mind you. That’s where the lyrics “You whispered in my ear/I was always be there” come from. Because my authentic self is always there. It just gets covered up by my ‘idea’ of myself or my worries or doubts or fears and that ‘idea’ or worry or fear has to die or I have to release it, to actually see what’s been there the whole time: me.

And this process of removing the ego to reveal who I truly am is never fun. Never easy. That’s why I say “I’d fallen down so far/the ground was so damn hard.” Because that shit hurts. The pay off is great, of course. And it happens again and again. Hopefully one day, I’ll live from my authentic self all the time, but right now, this is a process that happens over and over again. That’s why I say towards the end of the song “Don’t, don’t you let me go/ Oh baby, never go/ You found me.” Because I know this will happen again. I will lose myself again and it feels so good, so right, to be in my authentic self and I don’t want to go back. I don’t want to forget, even for a second, who I really am. And there is my true self, coming in again “You whispered in my ear/I will always be here” reminding me that I never really ‘lose’ myself. My authentic self, my true self, is always there and I am never without her. And that feels good.