Living

Cat’s Meow – Book Edition: Four Thousand Weeks by Oliver Burkeman

a purple watercolor cat is wearing glasses and reading a book with a cup of tea by its side

Just popping in to recommend the book Four Thousand Weeks: Time Management for Mortals by Oliver Burkeman.
It’s not like any other time management book I’ve read – there are no ‘tips’ or ‘tricks’ to exercise while cooking dinner or write a book while running a marathon. It’s more about recognizing that we have limited time and tough decisions need to be made about what is going to get done and what isn’t. It’s helped me focus on what’s important in my creative pursuits but also life in general.

This book is a part of the reason I’ve been pretty quiet here on my website – it really changed how I look at my creative work and I’ve been (slowly) more productive in the things that are truly important to me. One of my biggest lessons from the book is not to try to do too many things at once. I have so many creative projects and I used to think that if I touched each one that I was somehow still making progress on all of them at once. But that wasn’t the case and this book helped me to see the truth of that. Now I am actually making measurable, exciting progress on the children’s book I’ve wanted to write for years.

Unfortunately, this means that my comics, which I was really using as drawing practice for the children’s book, have intentionally fallen by the wayside. As has my music creation. And my other writing projects. Sometimes the hardest decision is choosing between two things we REALLY want to do. One day, I’ll have time again for my other creative pursuits and I look forward to that day. But for now, I am enjoying getting closer and closer to my goal of publishing my picture book.

Selling Our Home to Opendoor: UPDATE

Our old home is finally up on Opendoor’s website! And it’s currently listed for $26,000 MORE than they paid us for it. And I don’t care! lol I’m out of that house and so happy with my new home and still very happy to have sold it to them at the price we did. In addition, just because they list it for that amount, doesn’t mean they’ll actually get it – it does seem overpriced for the area.

If you missed the first post about selling to Opendoor, GO HERE.

As far as the updates completed (or not) this is what I noticed from the limited pictures:

  • repainted all interior walls from very bright and colorful to gray (including over the vents and one fire alarm)
  • it seems like the also repainted all the trim white but it’s hard to tell from the photos
  • they put the unfinished cabinet doors back up in the kitchen on top of the sanded and stripped cabinet casing – they did not repaint or refinish these cabinets so 1/3 of the kitchen is white from when I was painting it and 2/3 are still the old brown with the old hardware and 1/4 of the cabinet box is sanded
  • they put back up two white cabinet doors but did not have the new hardware (because they told me not to leave it) so two of the white cabinet doors have the old hardware
  • surprisingly, they left the fridge! Many of the Opendoor houses we viewed were missing the fridge, washer and dryer (I don’t know about the washer and dryer as they weren’t included in the pics)
  • They removed and closed up the dog door as well as replaced about 2 feet of missing trim
  • They put the bathroom linen closet and 3rd bedroom closet doors back in (we left those)
  • strangely, they removed all the blinds and curtain rods
  • they did nothing to the floors and it was clear in some of the pics that the floor is still beat up in some places (we didn’t know how to take care of wood floors at the time)
  • They left the 3/4 painted turquoise chandelier in the dining room
  • they didn’t even remove the baby lock attachments which are on the outside of the cabinet doors in the guest bathroom
  • they did however, remove the wallpaper in two of the bathrooms and repaint upon closer inspection, they did NOT remove the wallpaper in the downstairs half bath, but simply painted over it. So I suspect they did the same in the upstairs guest bath
  • they also removed all the shower rods
  • In terms of the exterior, I didn’t see any new landscaping and we had painted the outside and replaced the roof only a year ago so they didn’t repaint or re-roof
  • they did replace a few fence boards that were in desperate need of replacing
  • and they, sadly, removed the 3 rain barrels we had installed but they did not then redo the gutters to reach the ground again, so the gutters end about 4.5 feet off the ground

And that’s it! I am happy to close this chapter and go enjoy my new house – au revoir old house!

New Desk Tour

After years of using our old IKEA kitchen table as my desk (you served valiantly table), I finally have a new, real desk with drawers and my daughter gets the old table as her craft table. Here is a tour of my new desk (with only a small amount of clutter removed for pictures).

The full view. Desk and ladder shelves from Amazon. Chair from a friend who was getting rid of it. Painting was a gift.
Close up of desk top.
Close up of ladder shelf & cork board.
‘Hidden’ shelf under the desk. My legs are short so I don’t hit it at all.
Drawer #1.
Drawer #2.
My various on-desk writing implements.
My mini desk bookshelf.
Shelf #3 from the top.
Shelf #3 from the top.

And that’s all folks! I love my new desk and am enjoying having drawers very much.

On Becoming an Atheist During the Pandemic

I’ve gone through quite a large paradigm shift during the pandemic – I no longer believe in a higher power or afterlife.

Time in the pandemic is strange and bendy, but if I had to hazard a guess, I would say it was about four months after self-isolation began in mid-March 2020. I just turned to my husband and said “I think…I don’t believe in a higher power anymore.” It was not something I agonized over or researched extensively although I think I’ve been inching towards this conclusion for years now.

I’m not sure what caused the final push exactly but I would conjecture that the pandemic laid the truth of the situation out so clearly in front of me that I could no longer ignore it. I’ve never experienced something that was so completely out of my control and endangered my life and the lives of my loved ones on such an ongoing basis. Normally, if I’m in a situation that is dangerous, I’ll leave (I am aware of the privilege here). There is no leaving this pandemic; there is no ignoring it or pretending it will go away if I just live my life and ‘trust god’. The science is clear and unwavering on this.

I think many people, when faced with that lack of control, chose to lean towards their faith and belief in a higher power. For me, it was quite different – I leaned more towards science and released my belief in a higher power. And I would guess that the hordes of people blatantly ignoring the science during a pandemic to go on and endanger others while saying “god will protect us” probably contributed a bit to my choice.

At the same time, I also realized that I no longer believed in many of the pseudosciences I had previously advocated for and enthusiastically partaken in or even studied. When faced with Covid-19, these pseudosciences could do nothing and it was dangerous to think that an unproven herbal supplement would protect me.

These realizations were quite a monumental shift for me and it caused me great anxiety for about two months. Many of the tools that I had used to comfort myself emotionally were gone. I was raised Catholic and was quite devout in high school and early college, even going so far as to attend a Catholic university to study theology while simultaneously becoming a youth minister at my local church. There were even many months that I wondered if I was being ‘called’ to become a nun. Then I realized that the patriarchal and homophobic mentality of the Catholic Church no longer fit for me (the big pedophilia story hadn’t come out yet). So I spent the next many years drifting from one Pagan-esque, New Age idea to the next, even ignorantly dabbling in some cultural appropriation (I’m so sorry) but then eventually settling on the idea of the ‘Divine’ and ‘Energy’ and using tarot cards once in a while. This was my vague belief in the ‘divine’ until…one day, it wasn’t. After the two painful months of adjusting, it was actually incredibly freeing to release this belief that had comforted me over the years.

Then, to my surprise, I realized that, overall, I was actually LESS anxious. Releasing my belief in a higher power and pseudosciences had released an entire layer of worry and stress that I had been carrying around. No longer did I wonder: “Am I doing the ‘right’ thing?” “Is this fulfilling my life’s purpose?” “Is there a dark spirit in that closet or is it just drafty?” “Will holding onto this anger give me cancer?” “Am I on the right ‘path’?” “Should I be getting Reiki treatments?” “Are my dead grandparents’ spirits watching me when I have sex?” I had freed myself from imaginary monsters and ailments and could deal with the world as it was, real and present in front of me, with science by my side. Instead of trying to treat my seasonal allergies with herbs and honey (neither of which have been scientifically proven to help), I took cetirizine hydrochloride (as my doctor had suggested) and found out that I wasn’t actually tired all the time – it was just untreated allergies! And my sinus issues not only never developed into something more serious but went away because I was actually treating my allergies now. And I no longer see “sending healing energy” as a viable response to a crisis or a problem; scientifically proven action is now my go-to response.

So now I’m many months into being an atheist although I’ve only recently embraced the term, preferring agnostic until I was able to accept that I am in, in fact, an atheist. Atheists are a minority in the U.S. and so many people wonder how we find meaning in our lives without a higher power. The truth is, I make my own meaning and I am now free to choose how I want to live my life instead of adhering to what I think a higher power wants me to do. And I feel even MORE compelled to live my life to the fullest and effect positive change in this world. There is no longer this ‘afterlife’ that would allow me to continue living. THIS IS IT. There is no do over for me. There is no extra time with my family in a heavenly abode. There is no ‘more’ and there is no guarantee. Because I no longer believe a higher power is protecting me or my family, I know this life or theirs can be taken away from me at any moment. So I’m living it as best as I can and as fully as I can because I now see clearly that I only get this one shot and I’m sure as science not gonna waste one second of it.

Selling our Home to Opendoor: An Honest Review

Well, we are finally done selling a house, buying a new house and moving. What a freaking journey.

Now that it’s all behind us, I wanted to write about our experience because I didn’t see a lot of trustworthy reviews online and I thought it might be helpful if we shared our experience. In addition, I just want to make it clear that neither OpenDoor or its partners were aware that I was planning on writing a review so I received no special treatment or anything like that. This is a long post so for those who want the short story:

TL;DR: would I recommend it and would I do it again? I would recommend it for someone who was in a similar situation and yes, I would do it again if I were in these same circumstances. However, if you want to go the iBuyer route, you better be a detail-oriented person who can keep track of a lot of different things and you need to be willing to follow up with people, possibly multiple times.

Now onto the long story:

Our original plan was to sell with our realtor, as we did with our last home. Out of pure curiosity, my husband looked into Zillow Offers months before we were actually going to sell our home. At the same time, I was preparing to sell our home the traditional way with staging and upgrades. So I was in the process of painting all the kitchen cabinets white and packing up some of our things to make the home look less cluttered for staging. I also did quite a bit of work on the yard and we hired someone to replace the ugly linoleum floors in our bathroom with tiles. All of this was occurring from about October 2020-January 2021 (with quite a long break for Christmas).

Our original plan was to get the house on the market in early to mid-March so to say I was feeling the crunch would be an understatement. I was very stressed about all the work that needed to be done to get the house ‘showing ready’ but I was also worried about having to move to an AirBnB for a week as there is no way I could do showings while still living at home with a 5 year old, a 65 lb dog and two cats. In a pandemic nonetheless.

So towards the end of January, we had a home assessment from Zillow Offers scheduled. We had already received their initial offer (not including a repair deduction) and were fairly impressed, but we were certain we could do better with our realtor. Turns out, we were wrong. We thought it best to contact our realtor and see what he thought we could sell the house for (instead of just assuming) and I’m glad we did. His number on what we could sell the house for in it’s current condition (no more upgrades) was significantly less than Zillow’s offer. Even if Zillow came out to see our home and said that we needed over $13,000 in repairs (not likely), Zillow Offers would still have been the better option for us as compared to our realtor’s numbers.

This is how we calculated that: our realtor gave us numbers based on what upgrades we completed – the more money we put into the house, the higher the asking price. Whatever the final asking price was, we subtracted the money we would have to put in because that was going to come out of our pocket. Whereas, Zillow Offers was willing to give us a good price and I wouldn’t have to even finish painting the kitchen cabinets. And the good price was after their estimated fees, closing costs and repair deductions. The night we stayed up until midnight figuring all this out, I cried in relief that I wouldn’t have to get the house ‘show ready’ or do showings or paint another kitchen cabinet.

The following day was our Zillow Offers assessment and we were fairly confident that we were going to choose Zillow over going the traditional route. That morning, as we were getting ready for the day, I told my husband that it was probably a good idea if we look into a couple of other iBuyers, just to see. Almost as if shopping around for a good quote. So that very morning we set about getting offers from Opendoor as well as from Redfin Now. Every single iBuyer, including Zillow Offers, were exceptionally quick on their turnaround.

All in that same day, I had a video call with Opendoor to assess the home, a Zillow Offers representative who came and assessed the inside and outside of our home and I sent Redfin Now photos of the home. We found out later that it was good that it all happened in a small timespan – each iBuyer has different rules but their final offers are only good for so long, usually a few days.

The next day, day 2, Opendoor sent someone to inspect the outside of our home and left a lockbox for our key just in case we went with them.

On day 3, we received our final offers from both Redfin Now and Opendoor. We didn’t receive our final Zillow offer until 3 days later as it was a weekend. Redfin Now’s offer was significantly less than both Zillow Offers and our traditional route. Opendoor, however, was significantly MORE. In addition, Zillow Offers and Opendoor allowed us 60 days to find a new home whereas Redfin Now was only 30 days.

The numbers spoke for themselves: Opendoor was going to give us the most money overall and allowed us 60 days to find a new home. We signed the contract online and it was super easy. Up until this point, Opendoor had been very, hold-your-hand, user friendly. But there were some things in the contract that were not listed anywhere else on the website which was very different from how the offer process was. These are things that come with any home buying contract but are usually handled by your realtor. There is no realtor when selling directly to an iBuyer, so I had to take note of all the specifics in the contract and make sure I completed them. Things such as submitting a Survey of the property, a T-47 Affidavit, Seller’s disclosures, and the subdivision information (a large packet that runs a few hundred dollars). I quickly gathered these documents and submitted them to Opendoor as well as the local title company they were working with.

Now the race to find a new home was on and that opened a whole new can of worms. Thankfully, we had our amazing realtor team to guide us. They helped us buy our first home and then the next and we were so happy that they could help us do that again. I highly recommend them: The Guderyon Team.

So as it turns out, while we were selling and subsequently trying to buy a new home, there was extremely low inventory and it was a seller’s market. We looked at over 200 houses online and 40 houses in-person from February 1st to February 25th. We made 7 different offers, most of them at asking price or significantly above. FINALLY, on February 25th, our offer on a beautiful home was accepted. We were immensely relieved. Most closings take about 30 days so we knew that if we didn’t want to move out and into temporary housing after our 60 days were up, that we’d have to find a home by the end of February. This was one of the most intense and stressful parts of the whole process. And we did have to go above asking price.

So, now looking back on it and knowing the state of the current market, we probably could have gotten close to what Opendoor gave us for our home if we had gone the traditional route. But I would have definitely had to finish the cabinets and do showings and staging and deep cleaning, so Opendoor was still the best route for us. One small note: many of the homes we looked at did not include fridge/washer/dryer for some reason. We contacted Opendoor about that and we were not able to keep our appliances so if you want to keep your appliances, that would be something to bring up with your Experience Partner before you sign the contract.

So, we’ve finally got a house. We contact Opendoor and let them know. Thankfully our ‘Experience Partner’ aka our point of contact with Opendoor was very responsive to our requests for a callback and questions. He had told us countless times during the offer process that the closing date was flexible and that they also had a “Late Checkout” program that would allow us to stay in our home up to 14 days after closing. So we moved our closing date up to allow for at least 3 days before the closing of our new home (to insure we had the funds even though it only takes one business day for Opendoor to transfer the funds). We also went onto our Opendoor account to request about 7 days of “Late Checkout” to allow for our closing of the new home and moving. Turns out, late checkout is NOT the same as a leaseback which often happens on the traditional selling route which is where you essentially ‘rent’ the home back from the new owner for a few days – the cost is equivalent to what the home would be rented for but prorated. That was what we were expecting. That is NOT what Opendoor’s ‘Late Checkout’ offer is – ‘Late Checkout’ is more like staying in your home instead of a hotel. It costs anywhere from $100-$400 PER NIGHT. In addition, Opendoor was going to hold $2,000 from our home sale as a ‘security deposit’ until we completed checkout, and then it would be returned to us. This was a twist and surprise we were not prepared for but we accepted it and promised to look more closely at any future situations like this. If there is any ‘debris’ or extra belongings left behind, there could be delay or a deduction in the return of our security deposit. It is not made clear what exactly constitutes debris.

Two weeks before our scheduled closing date with Opendoor, we had not been contacted by Opendoor or their local title company. No details about time or place or what to bring. So I reached out via email to the local title company while CCing our Opendoor experience partner – no response. 4 business days later, I sent another email – again, no response. The following day, our Opendoor experience partner reached out to see if we have been contacted by the local title office about closing and I informed him that we hadn’t and he said he will stay on top of it.

2 business days later, I received an email from the title office with Preclose documents but still no information about closing. In that email though is a name and accompanying email address for the person who would be handling our closing. I emailed her directly for information and she responded fairly quickly that her assistant would be reaching out. A day or two later, the assistant reaches out but not to me – she only emails my husband who is working full-time from home; I am the one handling most of this. This email exchange happens quite a few times where I email and they respond only to my husband despite us asking for emails to be sent to me or at least have me CCed on them.

So far, it was seeming, that if you want to go the iBuyer route, you better be the kind of person who is willing to follow up. And that continued to prove true – the day before our scheduled closing, I STILL don’t have a time for our closing. I had been emailing the assistant about multiple times.

At the same time, I was discussing with my Opendoor experience partner about what we can or cannot leave behind. We had extra flooring that matched the main floors and the new tile. We also had the paint that matches the exterior of the home and extra garden bricks that matched the current landscaping. Unfortunately, Opendoor did not want us to leave any of this which didn’t make sense to me but whatever. So I gathered all the garden bricks and listed them for free on Nextdoor and they were picked up. Opendoor also said we must maintain the yard while we are at our home but it is unclear what that means – did I need to trim the trees? It was the season for trimming the roses. Or did we need to just mow the grass and edge? None of this was made clear and I was anxious that we would lose our security deposit. There are so many horror stories online of someone trying to sell to an iBuyer and the many good reviews are on the iBuyer website so I was wary of trusting them. Or the review was on a realtor website which I didn’t trust either.

So we finally got a time for our closing and when we arrived, the office staff was very nice and friendly. Turns out, it used to be a one woman operation – and then she got a ton of new clients and was staying at the office until midnight and then was back there again at 5am the next morning. She was able to hire one person (the assistant I was emailing) and was in the process of hiring more people, but she was absolutely swamped. The signing of the closing documents went off without a hitch and then we just had to wait for the funds to be released to us.

Our Opendoor experience partner said that he had only seen it happen once where the funds weren’t released within 24 hours of closing. Well, now he can say twice. The 24 hour mark came and went. There was much emailing that occurred. The next morning, we finally received the funds. THANKFULLY, we did not trust that we would receive the funds within 24 hours and scheduled our two closings (one for selling to Opendoor and one for buying our new home) with a 2 day gap. So we closed on the sale of our old home on a Tuesday and closed on the purchase of our new home on a Friday.

Then came moving day! We moved out and were EXHAUSTED so I went back and cleaned and did digital checkout the following day. Thankfully, we had allocated 2 days for ‘moving’ just in case something happened, and I’m glad we did. Having an extra day added $115 to our late checkout fees, but it was worth it. ALSO, important to note if you go the late checkout route, that you DON’T have until midnight to vacate the home – you only have until 5pm. So if you plan on moving, cleaning, and taking pictures for digital checkout all on the same day, you better get started early because 5pm comes up quickly. Thankfully, I cleaned it, took pictures and was out of there before lunch.

And again, there were no clear instructions on what level of ‘clean’ they wanted – it just said that I didn’t need to do a deep clean, broom swept was fine. So, being the overly cautious person that I am, I probably did more than they required but, in the end, we did receive our $2000 security deposit back. Again, actually receiving the funds took much longer than our Opendoor experience partner said it would, because the funds had to be released from the title company aka the office that was just absolutely swamped.

So, would I recommend it and would I do it again? I would recommend it for someone who was in a similar situation and yes, I would do it again if I were in these same circumstances. Could I have gotten more if I had listed it with my real estate agent because the market at the time was an insane seller’s market? Probably, but I also would have had to finish re-painting the kitchen cabinets, repaint all the walls, landscaping, etc and also do staging with a dog, two cats and a 5 year old. No thanks, I’ll pass.

P.S. I know this post isn’t about buying our new home, but I have to say that Josh and Thalia of the Guderyon Team are absolutely amazing. They were with us every step of the way, went above and beyond and really watched out for us and helped us to get an amazing new home at an amazing price. This is not a sponsored post or anything, they are just really awesome.

P.P.S. Keep an eye out for an UPDATES post to see what Opendoor did to our home after we sold it and for how much more they listed it for. Currently, it’s an ‘exclusive listing’ only on Opendoor for $11,000 more than they bought it for. No pictures yet.

Parenting in the time of COVID

Pencil on white paper in a sketchbook. It is a drawing with many letters drawn as if they are magazine cutouts of individual letters. The messages says: I woke up beating myself up.
My morning sketch.

So we’ve made the decision to move. Not now, but next Spring after we’ve done some home improvements and (hopefully) there is a vaccine for COVID. Unfortunately, I did a pretty ‘me’ thing to do and put all the pressure of parenting & unschooling during a pandemic, deep cleaning a house and multiple home improvements (including painting all the kitchen cabinets and all the rooms in the house) on my shoulders. Fortunately, I realized the absurdity of this a month and a half in instead of 6 months later.

I was able to talk all this over with my husband and release a lot of the self-imposed pressure but there was still some hangers-on especially when it comes to balancing my creative pursuits and my daughter’s needs. Then I came across this interview with author Austin Kleon (I’ve mentioned him before). What’s funny is that the interview was written in 2019, long before COVID hit, but I found it incredibly applicable to my current situation. For instance, this is what he would tell other parents who are juggling a career:

It’s not you. You’re probably doing the best you can. It’s just that everything is stacked against you. Everything from a lack of affordable child care, underfunded schools, crumbling infrastructure, bad health insurance, to a world that’s just really and truly insane. It’s near impossible and it’s not your fault. Just keep going. Do the best you can.

He was also very honest and wasn’t afraid to talk about the less than perfect moments of parenting such as yelling at his kids and looking forward to their bedtime. I struggle with yelling too but so often parents who share online only show the picture perfect moments or ‘tips & tricks’. It was nice to see that I am not the only parent struggling, even if his words are from a different time, in what feels like a galaxy, far, far away.

Some messy splatter paint art with my daughter.

Staying Connected during COVID

Things have been tough over here since the start of the pandemic as they have been for many, many other people across the world.

We are choosing to stay home, just the 3 of us, to celebrate Thanksgiving (minimally as it’s a crap holiday) and Christmas this year but want to still stay connected to our families. This is the first year that I will ever send a Thanksgiving card but I think it’s an important year for me to do so to remind our families how much we love them and miss them.

Watercolor and ink.

I think there is something special about sending a handmade card in the mail. It says, “I took the effort to make this for you.” Reminds me of this poster I made a while back: Ways To Show You Care. This is an updated ‘Socially Distant’ version.

Sharpie marker.

Doing Begets More Doing

I knew I was in trouble.

I knew I was in trouble when my brain was composing short, little Tweets at random. I knew at that point, I had been on Twitter too much and it was starting to change the way I thought.

Ever since I started this little experiment, I’ve been writing and sharing with regularity and I can feel my brain changing but in a better way than overusing Twitter changed it. It’s now beginning to think in my writer’s voice. I’ve been stretching and working that writer muscle and it’s been getting stronger. The ideas are coming without much effort and at a more frequent rate.

So doing the thing means that it’s easier to continue to do the thing.

This is not a new concept to me but I’m relearning this particular piece of knowledge in a new, deeper way. And I’ve seen this principle apply to lots of things in my life. When I’m already in the habit, it’s mentally (and sometimes physically) easier to continue doing the thing. When I stop, it’s much more difficult to get that momentum going again. So for now, I’m going to enjoy the benefits of a newly strengthened writer muscle.

P.S. This is not to say that I support our society’s obsession with productivity. Because I don’t. I think it’s good to quit and take breaks and I think it’s vital to take good care of ourselves.

Taking Breaks

Beautiful sunrise when we were camping last year.

Our lives have shifted quite a bit since the pandemic began and some of them have been good shifts. In March, after many mornings of waking up grumpy, I started a morning exercise and stretch routine. All I committed to was 5 minutes of stretching or exercising each morning. Some mornings I would do random stretches for 5 minutes, other mornings I would follow along with a yoga or exercise YouTube video and some mornings I would dance and exercise for an hour. This has been the first time in my life that I’ve ever exercised with this much regularity. And I’ve seen the results – I feel stronger, I’m less grumpy when I start the day with exercise, and I’ve seen improvements in my menstrual cycle, back health, mood, and stress levels. We had to go on a short weekend trip in August and I even did my morning exercise and stretches there! At that point, it had been months of this routine so it was nice to have it to ground me and help reduce stress. It was almost like my morning cup of coffee.

One of my fitness goals in particular is to learn the splits, something I’ve never been able to do. And although I’m not there yet, I can definitely see that I’ve made progress. I even watched this YouTube video by Physics Girl about the science behind stretching and improving flexibility. My daily routine was just the ticket because improving flexibility requires around 1 minute of stretching that particular muscle, 6 out of 7 days of the week.

I also set a goal of learning to hold a handstand but I hurt my wrists early on in that endeavor (pretty common in learning handstands) so I had to table it as it healed. Did you known that wrist injuries take a long time to heal? Me neither. But they do. Did you also know that you use your wrists in about everything you do? Another thing I discovered.

Some other routines I’ve started since this pandemic: setting out a nightly surprise for my daughter, doing a big clean on Sundays, and morning nature walks or outside time with my daughter.

And every single one of these routines, including exercise, was abandoned this past week.

It wasn’t really a conscious choice – I just didn’t want to do any of it. We’ve had heat advisories and high humidity for most of the last week so going outside at all has been…unpleasant to say the least. The nightly surprise for my daughter was fun for a week but it has since fizzled. It was no longer a surprise, but had become an expectation for my daughter and was stressing me out. One morning she raced downstairs before my husband and I were even out of bed to see her surprise. Next thing I heard was the Google Broadcast of her saying she was unimpressed by the friendship bracelet materials I had left out for her. At least we got a nice morning laugh out of it.

As for the big Sunday clean and daily exercising, I just couldn’t. No reason. I just needed a break from the routine. In the past, I would have forced myself to do these things that I set for myself despite my exhaustion which would then lead to hating the activity more and more until I abandoned it completely, never to touch it again. Thankfully, I’ve grown up a bit since then and no longer hold myself to such punishing standards.

Watercolor. © 2018. Angelle Conant. All Rights Reserved.

And then this morning and yesterday, after a week of not exercising, my body felt sluggish and achy and just tired. So I decided to pull out the old trusty yoga mat and stretch for just five minutes. And then I remembered why I had set that morning exercise routine in the first place – because it feels good! Because my body gets a chance to stretch and wake up and feel better and stronger.

In her book, I Quit Sugar for Life (another thing I’ve been trying to slowly incorporate because it feels good to eat well), Sarah Wilson talks about ‘lapses’ – moments when someone who is following a no sugar diet indulges a little too much in sugar. This is what she has to say:

“Well, first, I don’t freak. Quitting sugar for life simply means making the best available wellness choices and doing your best (by yourself). It’s a gentle, curious experiment, not a mean diet. Also, this: so-called lapses are good! They are perfect for reminding us why we choose not to eat sugar.”

And that is exactly what happened to me – by taking a break from ‘making’ myself exercise, I was reminded why I’d started the habit in the first place: because it feels good! And by taking a break from a big Sunday clean, I was reminded I was not alone in keeping a clean house (my husband stepped up and did some of the things I normally do) and I was also reminded of why I do a Sunday clean – because I like a clean house! Of course, not being able to go outside for an extended period of time has definitely reminded me how much I enjoy being outside and how much I’m missing it right now.

My backyard mulberry tree.

Of course, not all things I take a break from end up back on my daily routine. The surprises I left out for my daughter? I feel relief at not having to do that on a daily basis anymore and our days flow much better without it. And now, I have the opportunity to leave out a surprise every now and again when I am excited to do so and I think she’ll enjoy the surprise.

Plus, I think breaks are just good for having time to curl up on the couch and read a good book which is exactly what I did this past Sunday. 🙂

I Have a Superpower

To be fair, I think a lot of other people have this superpower as well. And I think I’ve known about it, vaguely, for quite some time, but I don’t think it’s been this clear until today.

I have the power to take on a character’s feelings when I read a book and sometimes when I watch a TV show. So if a character’s heart has been hardened by trials & tribulations and is filled with anger, I am pissed. If a woman is furious with her thieving, cheating husband, I am angry with my husband (sorry, honey). And if a character has lost a loved one and is desperately sad, so am I. But it’s not all ‘bad’ feelings I get from these fictional characters. Good feelings pass along too. I just finished reading a romance novel and as I read it over the past few days, I was walking on air and feeling blissfully content, as if I had just fallen in love for the first time too. And if I watch a New Girl or Parks and Rec episode, I am imbued with the indomitable optimism of Jessica Day or Leslie Knope.

This power is partially what Jonathan Gottschall was talking about in The Storytelling Animal: How Stories Make Us Human (which I’ve mentioned before – it’s a good book, you should read it). Stories are extremely powerful for all humans. Combine that with my empathic nature and BOOM – you have a woman who has to choose very carefully what she reads and watches. As they say, you are what you eat and we eat with our eyes first.

With all the heaviness that has been overwhelming in reality lately, I’m choosing to feel blissfully content when I can and read me some romance novels. 😉