I’ve been thinking a lot about noise and what I put out into the world. During this time of self-isolation, I’ve felt a stronger desire to share but I have many issues with social media and find it’s best for my mental health if I mostly steer clear (which I sometimes forget and then am painfully reminded, as I was today). So I’m going to try an experiment of sharing more, because it’s what I want to do, here on my little corner of the web.
I recently read about a cool idea on Happiness is Here blog where, overnight, she leaves out cool supplies on her children’s table for them to discover in the morning. I’ve been trying it for a couple of days now with my young daughter, and she seems to be enjoying it, as am I. I get very excited to put things out after she goes to bed, as if I’m a fairy leaving little gifts of discovery and curiosity.
Today’s supplies were for collage art: I left out paper, glue, scissors, magazines, and a printout of some collage art examples. First thing this morning, she was very intent on playing with slime so the collage supplies were pushed aside for that. And I was (mostly) fine with it. I set these things out because I thought she might like them but I did my best not to have any set expectations that she’d interact with them.
Later in the day, she was ready and asked me to join her and we had quite a good time making these. 🙂 The rest of the day has been quite challenging but this was one good thing that happened. It reminded me how much I enjoy collage and you might just see more of it from me in the future.
My daughter’s creation. These are the eyes and lips of Helen Mirren in case you were wondering.
My daughter’s second creation.
My second creation. I cut out dog eyes for this face and my daughter started sobbing when she found out in case you were wondering how things are going over here.
My first creation: Gecko For President. I started out trying to make the gecko pop out of a cake but it transformed into this.
I was about to open my computer when I saw a beautiful screensaver photo and I had a strange urge to sketch it. Turns out it was Ireland. This is significant because before the pandemic started, we were beginning to plan a family trip to Ireland – I even have a couple of library Ireland travel books still sitting on my bookshelves.
I’ve had a rough time handling things recently and this was a lovely reminder that this self-isolation and pandemic will end. This is temporary. And we will get to live our lives, out and about in the world, again.
This is my sketch of a photo by David Soanes Photography. The photo says it is Antrium, Ulster, Ireland.
This Love Series post is dedicated to George Floyd and his family. This is me sending love to George Floyd, his family, and his friends, many of whom are here in Houston.
This is also me sending love to all those who have experienced and continue to experience racism. You are not alone. We will eradicate racism together. <3
One of my dear friends recently wrote me a letter (for you younguns, that’s a really long text on paper) and she included with it a lovely poem by Mary Oliver:
The Uses of Sorrow (In my sleep I dreamed this poem)
Someone I loved once gave me a box full of darkness.
It took me years to understand that this, too, was a gift.
Unbeknownst to my friend, I had had an entire afternoon of cleansing, freeing crying and this letter with this beautiful poem by one of my favorite poets arrived that evening.
I know a lot of people don’t like poetry or don’t get it. However, I think that poetry, like music, is something that’s deeply personal and sometimes it takes a while to find the style you like. I read many poems as part of my high school education and I disliked a lot of them. But every now and again, I would read one that felt as if it was speaking directly to me.
My favorite poetry is often succinct and reflects the truth of life back to me. I can garner the same lesson from a well crafted poem as I can from a well-written, multi-million dollar, two hour movie. Poems, simply put, are stories, real or imagined, that like any other art form, reflect life back to us and, oftentimes, help us to change, grow or return to that which is our deepest joy.
Poetry can be raw, sweet, clever, life-affirming or speak to the secret and not-so-secret aches that live within all of this. For some, reading poetry can be a spiritual experience – a supplement to their weekly religion or a full replacement. For others, it’s a constant wake up call and challenge to grow. And for others still, it’s a reminder of what makes life life. Poetry often leaves no place to hide and no stone unturned. In its presence, pretense and illusions fall away…and that is why I love it.
This next installment of The Love Series is for all the Frontline & Essential Workers.
Texas has recently started to open back up (amid controversy) and the roads are busier and things are starting to look almost normal. But, in truth, things are not back to normal. COVID-19 is still spreading and the threat to those that have to be working on the frontlines is very real.
I have read on social media about parents who are health care professionals and have chosen to self-isolate from their families to protect them. Mothers and fathers who haven’t hugged or kissed their children or significant other in weeks. And I just start to sob. It breaks my heart that they have to do it and that there isn’t more I can do to help.
So this Loves Series post is for the Frontline & Essential Workers. All of the grocery store workers, police officers and fire fighters, waste collectors, delivery people, and all the other essential workers. You are providing vital services during this stressful and strange time and we thank you. We appreciate you. I am sorry there is not more than I can do but know that I am so grateful.
I just have to take a moment to gush about one of my new favorite TV shows: Zoey’s Extraordinary Playlist. It’s quirky and musical and just quite lovely. I have cried almost every episode but not in the, this is really sad way. More in the “this show is reminding me what’s important in life and it’s so beautiful” kind of way.
Without giving too much away, this show has reminded me how precious life’s moments are and how short life is. It reminds me to be present and hold and hug the ones I love. And it reminds me to grab life by the horns and live! To live and create and love even when I’m terrified because life is short. It reminds me that my to-do list can wait (most times) and that these moments (all of them) are right here and not to miss out on them. It reminds me to not take my life, my luxuries, and, most importantly, my loved ones for granted.
It is a truly lovely and life-affirming show and it’s got a badass soundtrack. I’ve already added many of the shows songs to my sing-along playlist.
So what I’m try to say is, you might want to give this lovely show a try if you haven’t already. <3
Hey, how you doing? You holding up ok? Things are strange right now and I hope that you are doing alright. I’ve had some good days and bad days since we started self-isolating in mid-March. Those first couple of weeks were filled with some intense anxiety for me and that is where this new song came from. You can listen it to on Spotify, YouTube, Apple Music, and almost all digital streaming services.
I have a binder full of songs waiting to be brought to life and, up until now, I’ve been trying to go through the backlog before I start on the ‘newer’ songs. But this song was not up for waiting. I think, too, it was also me. I worked on this song long after those first couple of weeks of intense anxiety and there was definitely a part of me that was eager to be DONE with this song. I didn’t want it waiting in my binder and in the back of my mind. I didn’t want to keep bringing up my anxiety unnecessarily. I wanted to be over it. I wanted it to be done. But it also just felt like the right time to make this song.
If you’ve ever suffered from anxiety, you may know these lyrics well. Or you may not. For me, my anxiety manifests differently at different times but it usually involves having a lot of difficulty getting a deep breath along with chest discomfort. And if you haven’t had anxiety, maybe this will give you a little insight into what it’s like for a loved one who has anxiety.
And, yes, the song is about anxiety and what it feels like but I think the most important part of the song is the end when it says:
“I just have to hold on, I can weather this storm, And I know that I’ll be real glad, real glad.”
And I think that is something we can all do during this difficult time, whether or not we have anxiety. We just have to hold on and know that there is a light at the end of this tunnel.
Fire is an incredible thing – it is linked to our early evolution as the big-brained homo sapiens we are today. But it is also dangerous and frightening as evidenced by the wildfires in California and Australia. And yet, even wildfires have a silver lining in that they return vital nutrients to the earth.
I love a good fire for simple reasons. A fire can warm me on a winter day in a way that not even a heated blanket can manage. It provides a coziness and feeling of safety that’s almost subconscious. It reminds me of family and Christmas even though we didn’t have a fireplace when I was younger.
And all that’s just from sitting nearby – feeling the heat, smelling the burning wood and hearing the crackle of the embers. When I engage my eyes and stare into the fire, it can be an almost meditative experience. Sometimes the flames relax and mesmerize me and I achieve that elusive state where I’m thinking about nothing. Other times, I stare at the fire as my mind works over a problem.
And sometimes, we just roast marshmallows and end up with sticky fingers and happy bellies. 😉
May you be filled with warmth and feelings of coziness as we finish this winter season.
What the header says is true – I have new music out! It’s a single called “I’ve Got a Hold on You” and my mom says it’s my best song yet so. Yeah. Feeling pretty confident. 😉
The album art, created by moi.
This is my third single and I had some new tools that made the process more fun and much easier. I also think these new tools helped to create an overall better sound. It can be found at most music platforms including Spotify, Apple Music, and YouTube, among others.
Oh this song. This is it. This is the song that started this whole shebang for me. It is the first song I ever released. And it was an absolutely glorious internal fight to do so. This song, simply by being the ‘first’ song, was my learning curve. I had another song that I’d been working on FOR MONTHS. It’s tentatively titled “Release.” So naturally I thought it was fitting that that song was going to be the first song I released. Ha! Me and that song aren’t even on talking terms right now.
And that’s when this beauty of a song came to me. I was messing around on my guitar on, you guessed it, one full moon night when the chorus and beginning of the first verse came to me. I recorded it on my phone so as not to forget (as I do with all my strange and sporadic musical ideas) and that’s where it sat for a good while.
Finally, I finished the song in March and by July I had released my first single, Full Moon’s Rising. That might not seem like a short time, but for me it was. For someone who had been hoarding her music for years, it was a remarkable turnaround.
As far as the lyrics go, I think they are pretty self-explanatory. This song is an ode to the lovely and beautiful full moon. The instrumentation is simple – just me and my guitar. This is what I could handle on my first song and sometimes I think simple is what is needed. It is by no means perfect, but it’s mine and I put it out into the world. It’s not something that I created and let sit on my computer, never letting another person hear it. It’s out there and imperfect and wonderful and I love it.
I had a lot of fun creating this cover art with my watercolors.
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