February 29, 2016

Open Letter to An American Teenager

angelleconant How Different The World Might Be, Living, Parenting, Unschooling, Words affirmations, basics, compassion, education, family, follow your heart, happiness, joy, life, living, love, meditation, nature, parenting, self care, self expression, self-acceptance, sleep, teen, teenager, unschooling 2 Comments

One of my teenage relatives was recently having a rough time of things.

This is what I would say to her (and my high school self).

Dear Teen,

I’m going to tell you something you don’t want to hear and already know: life isn’t fair. And sometimes, I think, a teen’s life can have extra bits of unfair-ness. First, there is school. Don’t even get me started on school. You can read about why school sucks here, here, and here. Then there is the fact that you’re almost sort-of an adult but not really. You are given tastes of freedom and independence but none of the trust or respect to go with it. “Be an adult. Stop acting childish” but also “Listen to me. Do what I say. You live under my roof, you have no rights.” This is in addition to the pressure and expectations of everyone around you: friends, teachers, parents, relatives, your church, your culture, the media, etc. And as the cherry on top are all of the ‘normal’ things in life that suck: trauma, abuse*, hardship, death, etc. What I’m trying to say here is that, generally, a teen’s life can really suck. And when your life has a tendency to suck, you tend to have a few bad days (or weeks or months or…).

This is for those times. The bad days. First, I’m going to give you some advice my mom gave me (yes, parents do actually know something from time to time): you can’t change anyone but yourself. Another gem from the old lady: what other people think about you is none of your business. And lastly: don’t compare your insides to someone else’s outsides (this includes the crap people post on Facebook). These three statements have profoundly changed the way I look at myself and the world.

Secondly, when I’m having a bad day, I know it’s time to get back to the basics:

FOOD : Am I eating often enough? Am I eating good, healthy foods? How can I prevent ‘hangry‘ moments?
WATER : Am I drinking enough water? How can I always have water accessible to me?
SLEEP : Am I getting enough sleep? Is it good quality sleep? How can I improve the quality of my sleep?
MOVEMENT : Am I moving my body almost everyday? Is it enjoyable? If not, how would I enjoy moving and strengthening my body?
OUTDOORS : Am I getting enough time in the sun (and therefore, Vitamin D)? Am I getting enough time in nature? How can I get outside more?
MEDITATION : Am I spending enough time alone? Do I make time to deal with my big emotions? Do I make time to get in touch with myself and figure out who I am and what I want?
SELF-EXPRESSION : Am I making time to express myself in a way that feels true to my soul? Even if I’m not going to share it with another living person, it still needs to be expressed.

What I’ve just listed is essentially radical self care. And contrary to popular belief, caring for yourself is not selfish. It’s like they say on an airplane: you have to put your oxygen mask on first before you can help anyone else put on theirs. And let me tell you – self care isn’t easy. Change takes time and you will fall off the wagon. Be kind and gentle with yourself and just get back on. And don’t be afraid to ask for help or get creative.

And if all else fails, get some perspective: read a book, make a list of what you’re grateful for, help someone else, give back, focus on what you do have. The world is so much bigger and more beautiful than high school and you are stronger, wiser, braver, and more resilient and powerful than you know. Hang in there – I promise you it will get better.

Oh, and one final thing:

YOU ARE VALUED.

YOU ARE NEEDED.

YOU ARE ENOUGH.

YOU ARE LOVED.

All my love,

Angelle

*If you are currently in an abusive situation, I urge you to seek help. Please call one of the hotlines on this page. You will get through this. You will survive.

February 11, 2016

Positive Affirmations for Motherhood

angelleconant Living, Parenting affirmations, breastfeeding, children, compassion, family, happiness, motherhood, parenting, self-acceptance 0 Comments

A while back I wrote a post of positive affirmations for my first pregnancy. Recently, I’ve been struggling and overwhelmed with Motherhood in general and when the original paper I wrote my pregnancy affirmations on fell out of my journal, I knew what I needed to do. Some of the affirmations are the same but many are new. We mothers have the most amazing and, at times, overwhelming, job around. May these affirmations remind us to be kind and gentle with ourselves and, in so doing, teach our children to do the same.

I am enough. I am strong, wise, grounded, kind and patient.
I respect my need for alone time.
I ask for help easily and with an open heart.
I respect my limits and needs.
I love and accept myself just the way that I am.
I focus on the things that truly matter and let go of the rest.
I embrace an imperfect and messy but happy and love-filled life.
I am doing the best that I can and my best is good enough.
I am a great mother.
No matter what happens, everything is going to be alright.

July 26, 2015

5 Reasons I Love My Shaved Head

angelleconant Living breastfeeding, children, follow your heart, fun, hair, haircut, happiness, joy, life, living, love, motherhood, shaved head 2 Comments

After many years of wanting to, I finally shaved my head and I’m loving it. Here’s why:

It was on my list. Ever since my high school English teacher showed us a picture of her shaved head, I’ve always wanted to do it. Why hadn’t I done it yet? Fear. It feels SO GOOD to throw fear aside and do something I’ve always wanted to do. It is incredibly empowering and joyful. I still giggle with glee when I see myself in the mirror. Which leads me to…
I feel so sexy! Confidence and sexiness go hand-in-hand and doing something even though it scared me was a huge confidence booster. Bonus: my husband finds my new hairdo super sexy too!
It’s so easy. I have a 2 month old daughter so I’m all about quick and easy right now. No hair getting in the way while breastfeeding or carrying her around. It’s the ultimate mom haircut but with a little bit of badass thrown in. Also, with this hair, I’ve gotten my shower time to well under 10 minutes. Good for my baby and the environment!
Earrings. I finally get to show off my beautiful earrings that were always hidden behind dark hair before. It’s a whole new jewelry world!
It feels awesome. I love rubbing my hand along my head and feeling how soft my hair is. I love feeling the water from the shower hit my scalp and the wind blow through my hair (which is amazing in this Texas heat!). It’s a completely new way of feeling and I love it.

Overall. I give shaving my head 5 beautiful stars. I highly recommend.

May 18, 2015

Tips for a 3rd Trimester Babymoon

angelleconant Travel babymoon, beach, food, fun, Galveston, happiness, pregnancy, third trimester, travel, vacation 0 Comments

The husband and I recently took a weekend-long babymoon to Galveston, TX while I was 37 weeks pregnant. We learned a lot about the do’s and don’ts of a having a successful trip – our lessons are here for you so that you might get the most out of your vacation, whether it’s a babymoon or not.

Vacation somewhere close to home. This one seems pretty obvious, but I’d thought I’d throw it in anyways. Because I was in my 3rd trimester and only 3 weeks away from my due date, trips to distant lands were out. Galveston is only an hour away from Houston so if something were to happen, we could be home in a very short time.
Think about the kind of vacation you really want and choose your city and hotel accordingly. Do you want it to be more about relaxing or exploring? For us, we wanted a relaxing babymoon so that we could rest and reconnect before our little one’s arrival. If it’s relaxing that you want, then it might be best to choose a smaller town with only minimal attractions and more relaxing activities. If you’re looking for a more exciting and exploratory babymoon where you can share some new experiences, a bigger city might be a better fit. For us, we kind of halfway hit the mark on this one – Galveston is great for sleeping late, relaxing beach walks, sitting in rocking chairs and drinking beer (for the husband), but it has also turned into quite the party town, which we were not in the mood to do.
You don’t need to spend a lot of money for it to be nice or considered ‘pampering’ – value is what matters. We, foolishly, did not follow this one. We ended up spending quite a bit on a historic hotel and, in the end, it wasn’t worth it. The hotel was catered more towards the party goers of Galveston and had jazz music in the lobby until 10pm. After that ended, the bar in the lobby was still open until late and the voices of the inebriated could be heard in our room all night. Not great sleep makes for a cranky, pregnant wife.
When planning your day, take into account your limits and needs. This includes things like: is there a restroom that I can get to within 5 minutes (or less)? Can I get snack and water within 5 minutes? One thing that does help is carrying a large, filled water bottle and snacks everywhere. Also, take into account the level of physical activity that will be required. My little one dropped the day before we were scheduled to leave so walking far distances became something I couldn’t do. Also, the closer it gets to my due date, the more naps and rests I seem to need which is something we had to account for. I’ve also been more sensitive to heat and sun exposure during the pregnancy – another thing to account for.
Plan your food ahead of time if you can. This was one of the best parts of the trip – eating yummy, yummy food so go ahead and get excited about it by planning ahead. And don’t try and drive around to find a good food place when preggo is already hungry – have a place to eat and get there. Be okay with some disappointments – there are always risks in trying new places, even with good online reviews. And if you’re not up for disappointment, it’s okay to go to some chain restaurant that is familiar. Also, try to plan ahead for some healthy food options. During my pregnancy, I’ve become accustomed to eating quite healthfully and was disappointed by the choices at most restaurants. By the end of the weekend, my body was seriously craving some collard greens.
Lastly, ask for what you want. I had a great day on the first day of our trip because we ended up cuddled up in the hotel room watching Sherlock Holmes. I didn’t care if it seemed lame, it was what we wanted to do, so we did it!

This post can also be found on Offbeat Home. :)

April 30, 2015

Pregnancy Affirmations

angelleconant Living, Parenting affirmations, birth, labor, living, love, motherhood, pregnancy, self-acceptance 1 Comment

This pregnancy, being our first, has been a whirlwind of changes and some fears have crept up in the process. Fear of judgment in my choices about parenting and birth. Fear that I’m not doing enough or not doing it right. Fear that things won’t go ‘perfectly’ or be what I think it should be. Fear that I won’t be strong enough to birth this baby. Fear that my body will betray me. Fear that I will betray myself.

After recognizing that all these fears were present (and bogus), I needed to put something better in their place and so I’ve created a few affirmations to do just that:

I am enough. I am strong, wise, and grounded.
I did my best and my best is enough.
I have done and am doing the best I can physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually for my baby and my best is good enough. This baby will be whole and healthy and exactly what this baby is meant to be.
I listen to my inner wise voice. I stand strong in my truth and power.
I love my body. I trust my body. I am grateful for my body. My body is enough.
My body is producing the perfect size baby for me to birth naturally and easily.
I listen to my inner wise voice and all is well.
I am strong and resilient. I persevere.
I have faith in my strength.
I love and accept myself just the way that I am.
I honor my inner wisdom and stand strong in my power and truth.
I am a good mother.
I love this baby. I honor this baby. I am so grateful for this baby.
I honor and embrace my excitement and joy for this baby.

Whether or not you are pregnant, may these affirmations help you to recognize how amazing and strong you are as well. <3

April 30, 2015

Daily Reminders

angelleconant Living happiness, life, living 0 Comments

I came across an article the other day about the book, Top Five Regrets of the Dying. And then I read a blog post about a woman’s conversation with her fearless friend that was also inspiring.

From the articles, I absorbed a few gems of wisdom and felt I needed to write them down in action-type bullet points above my desk as a daily reminder. Hopefully, they help to remind you of what is most important as well.